Philosophy Football - Transfer Deadline Day Signings

posted by Geoff Andrews at Tuesday, February 01, 2011

I can confirm the following signings in the January transfer window.

Player From

Henry: Free agent
Lorenzo: Fiorentina
Archimedes: AEK Athens
Socrates: Santos
Empedocles: FC Akragas

We narrowly missed out on re-signing Albert Camus, currently caught up in North African revolutions, Leon Trotsky, who missed his (revolutionary) bus on the way to a medical; Jean-Paul Sartre, who spent hours in Cafe des Flores contemplating, deeply and profoundly, a move from Paris St Germain, but decided in the end that such a move would be complicated by the haunting presence of the opposition and Friedrich Engels who, after leaving Bayern Munich and spending a long period investigating the environs of Manchester, turned down both us and United in favour of a wine tour of the Loire Valley, similar to the one he embarked on during the 1848 revolutions. ('Fact' as they say on Twitter).

Naturally, at this time of year, there have been many unfounded rumours and gossip over who may be joining us. The signs that Roland Barthes may be on his way have turned out to be the serious misreading of the text in the absence of the author, while hope that William Morris may make his way along the Thames from Hammersmith to Putney on Sunday mornings to turn out for the thinkers is simply news from nowhere. As for Jean Baudrillard, the January transfer deadline itself is a mere simulation, an event orchestrated by the virtual news media and indicative of the crisis in late modern societies.